I wanted to have a theme for everything I posted on here. But that’s pretty damn hard. How do you expect me to keep a theme on something, for the entire post, one day a week? That’s why I could never write essays in school — how do you expect someone to write 5 pages on one topic? I could never understand that. There’s only so much shit you could say about it, except if you’re writing about some science shit, that has a meaning for every other meaning.

Regardless, here is your regularly scheduled post. My birthday was this weekend — 21. It was fun. I went out with people I consider friends, and I got a little too drunk. But that’s what you do when you turn 21, right?

Other than that, I still feel the same. Nothing life changing has happened. I still sit here, alone, every day without a written plan. No idea on what to do that day. I always felt like I had an addictive personality. I don’t think alcohol will be one of those things, but when I worked in real estate, my office was pretty much full of alcoholics. No kidding.

When I came into my old office, one of my more closer coworkers (if you can call them that) had slipped some scotch in his coffee. Just a normal day, I guess. I’m not really sure where I’m going with this — I never do. Feel free to comment about my excessive use of the em dash.

I guess I should talk about last week. Despite my affirmations, I did not work like a madman. I procrastinated, I got lazy, I lost motivation. And that seems to be a reoccurring theme of mine, no matter what I do. When I was 16, I worked at a grocery store. I use to love going there everyday, afterall, it’s where I knew and talked to the most amount of people. I’ve always bonded more with people that I work with then people I knew through other means. Maybe it’s because I see them all day, 5 days a week. Other people, you see them what…once a week at best? After a while, I lost motivation. I didn’t want to go to a place where I once loved to go. My lack of progress in things I do seems to be my main problem.

If I don’t get immediate satisfaction from something, I lose interest. I think I even talked about this in last week’s post. It’s a big problem of mine, and I’m not sure why that is.

It’s been about 5 minutes since I wrote that last paragraph. See, this is my biggest problem. I run out of things to say, then my brain moves onto thinking about something else and then I get distracted. I’m pretty sure I have ADHD. But, alas ladies and gentlemen, doctors are too expensive. Thanks Congress. Or America as a whole. I don’t know who to blame, but it’s still kinda fucked up.

I got back into investing a little bit. Just on the sidelines, of course. When I first started out investing, I think I got an average return of 12%. Which is pretty damn good. For a college dropout, who’s only learned by podcasts and random YouTube videos, I felt that was pretty good. Of course at the end of it, I took a loss, just like everything else I do.

I think I’m gonna end this here. I’ve sat here for a long ass time thinking of shit to write about, and I can’t. I’m gonna keep to my schedule of once a week posts. Even this week I managed to come out late — writing this up on Monday morning. Who knows what this week will bring. I hope I do good. There we go, using the word hope again. Fuck my life.